Being difficult enough to get admirers to part with their hard-earned (or not) money, I should be positioning myself as a successful artist, not a lazy artist or a (God forbid) Starving Artist!
Hear me out. When I have a brush in my hand I'm anything but lazy. I have the actual
disadvantage of taking my paintings too seriously. Each new undertaking has to be at least awesome - if not the next masterpiece. And each new painting is chosen because a) I'm attracted to the scene, and b) I think I can pull it off.
I'm not a "formula painter" or "one subject factory". I don't make different versions of one scene or subject as a permanent exercise. Each one of my subjects or scenes take on a different approach. And I often grow intimidated by it as the painting progresses, knowing full well that my next painting session will make or break the painting.
Knowing how I want it to turn out as a certain "look" or "effect" causes me to resist alteration of my vision and letting the painting "take its own course", which might often allow for a decent painting despite it variance from my original intention!
No. I tend to force things and expect certain effects to take place, fixing paint applications
so they conform to my vision. No I am not lazy while I'm working. I'm mentally the opposite! If anything, I'm a bit obsessive!
My laziness comes in on merely getting my arse into the studio! Oh, the errands distractions that keep me from getting there only 30 feet away from my chair in front of the computer. The pics I don't feel like loading into my desktop. The time it takes to heat up the studio. The food I need to cook for now and later.
It's amazing how my fear of being disappointed in the success of my undertaking, having now consumed 5, 10, 20 hours, keeps me from getting back to it. Am I lazy or just a scaredy cat - afraid of my own uncertainties and mistakes?
Well, I'll admit on my newly 2 yrs retirement attitude of being sick of have to, have to, have to. I can't seem to shake off or wear out the feeling of, "Good. I'm finally retired. Now I ain't gotta do sh*t!" I'm glad to be able to be lazy!
Sure. I'll make art, but at my own damn discretion! Yeah, it's lazy and not a formula for
prosperity, 'far as I can see.
Escapades? I don't know... Internet, social media, research, youtube, cooking, errands, surfing through past photos for future projects..., certainly not productive activities here. I would prefer being in the company of my peers. There's a nice vibe when being with your own kind. Things flow better. I'd get more done.
I'd also be a lot more motivated to create more if my inventory was moving more. I know you know what I'm talking about. When people "consume" what we do for them we feel more motivated to do more!
Well, I guess this blog is more of an explanation than a description. Maybe I'll have to do a follow up. Any thoughts on this?